Rats

Special Forces headquarters had been infiltrated by a rat. A tell-tale hole was discovered in a package of coffee creamers and artificial sweeteners. Some time the night before the rodent had chewed its way through a full box of Splenda and its foot prints and little rat shits were left in the scattered grains the next morning. Likely it had sensed itself the luckiest little rat in Baghdad to have sniffed out such sweet treasure, but in truth it would seem the little rodent’s luck had just run out. Little did it realize that it had cut its ratty sweet-tooth on a gourmet Christmas care package from the wife back home, and henceforth for either side there was no turning back. Nothing to do with business, this was strictly personal. The hunt was on.

Lt. Col Ratburn took quick inventory of work space and soon fashioned a trap from a roll of chicken wire and a wooden cigar box. Let haters mock what they fail to comprehend. The Col was no stranger to prejudicial extermination of unwanted pests. We are counter-terrorism’s best and brightest after all. That night the trap was rigged up naughty with a packet of Spenda leaned lightly against the trip wire. What the trap lacked in sophistication it more than made up for in simplicity and overall effectiveness. Certainly all disparaging comments were put to rest when everyone showed up for work this morning. There was the rat trapped when we got to work this morning. It was missing an eye and had an unbelievable tail that was tangled up around the coiled spring wire. The Colonel drew water into a plastic waste bin and submerged the cage with its prisoner trapped inside. Special Forces team looked on sipping coffee and when the deal was done, we shared a moment of silence for our little rat brother.